Cosmic Oracle • Nail Tech • Uber Driver • Essential Oil CEO
Click each card to reveal your destiny (Karen's interpretation may vary)
"I didn't go to astrology school. I went to the school of LIFE, honey."
Karen discovered her cosmic gifts at age 34 during a particularly intense hot yoga session in a strip mall outside of Reno. She saw a vision of her future self reading tarot cards on a website and thought, "Well, that's cheaper than therapy."
By day, Karen juggles being a nail technician (4.2 stars on Yelp — that one-star review was a MISUNDERSTANDING), an Uber driver (3.8 stars — she "shares wisdom" whether passengers want it or not), and a self-described "Essential Oil CEO" whose downline consists entirely of her cousin Debra.
Her spiritual training includes:
Karen's readings have been described as "surprisingly insightful," "chaotically accurate," and "ma'am this is a Wendy's." Forbes has not called. Yet. She's manifesting it.
Currently accepting readings between her Uber shifts, nail appointments, and ongoing disputes with her landlord Gary about the definition of "structural damage."
$0.30 + tx fee — her readings are worth billions (Forbes almost called) but she does this for the LOVE, honey
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